When I look in the Mirror, What Do I See?
When I look in the mirror, I see an honest, respectful, helpful and caring person. I am happy with the person I am becoming. If you were to ask this question six or seven years ago, you would get a very different answer. I used to be a very angry young man, and I took out my anger on everyone around me.
I got into fights, took things from people for no other reason than I wanted them, and picked on people because I knew they were weaker than me. I pretty much did whatever I wanted to, and did not care for anyone or anything beyond myself. I was just angry at the world, angry and hostile, and it was all I ever felt.
When I look in the mirror, today, I see the truth. I see someone whose anger masked his wounds. Anger was like a deep well that I could retreat to and in which I could protect myself from ever being hurt or abandoned by others. I wasn’t aware of all that when I was angry, but today I know that my anger was a result of my hurt. When I began to address one, the other resolved itself.
Today in the mirror, I see a man who has come far from that hurt and wounded kid. I am a better friend to others, and I have friends who truly value me and I would not trade their friendship for anything. I have learned to risk letting someone in, and I learned the power of trust and loyalty and fidelity. They have the power to transform a person. They transformed me.
In addition to being a better friend, I have become a better person because I see my true self mirrored in the positive regard of my friends for me and mine for them. When I look in the mirror today, I see a man who has learned that the bad things he has done, and could do, have a profound effect on the people around me. It was only when I began to see my world and myself through the eyes of others that change in my core took place. And it was only in learning to trust that I could put my hurt child aside and become a man.
This growth is not only my own doing. I have had a lot of help along the way. I have taken many self-help classes and programs to learn to be a better person. I became aware of the person I was slowly becoming in prison, and discovered that I did not want to be that person. I do not want to be a product of this environment, and I am grateful to people who showed me a better way.
One of them introduced me to Viktor Frankl and his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. I learned from him that I have the freedom to choose the person I am going to be in any set of circumstances, and I choose this person I am becoming now. I want to make something of my life. I want to contribute something to the world and not just take from it. I want to be a productive member of society, and I want the people I love and care for to be proud of what I have become in the end.
Most of all, I want to be able to look at myself in that mirror and feel that the people in my life are better for having me there, and are not just people I take from. I
have learned that I am a person of deep feelings, and I have come to trust others despite having my trust broken in the past and those feelings hurt. In prison, hope and trust are just about everything. Everything!
I am a pro-constitutionalist with a forward tendency to be a [sic] anarchist to any government rule over the soverign [sic] person. Maybe even anachoroism [sic], someone lost searching for his proper time and place.
Sometimes its [sic] important at the same moment to know what people truly think. We all have been re-programed far from our true being ignoring who we really are.
You have my permission, as always to post whatever I send you. However, F.S.M stands for “Freedom Soverign [sic] Militia”.
It is just me. A created division of the old idea of german [sic]/Norse ideology. The, “Gray Wolves”.
I am lieutenant colonel, Ronald [last name omitted], comrade of the, “Gray Wolves Militia”.
Would you please be kind enough to forward me copies of what you publish that I send.
Maine State Prison
We live in a present society where special interest places demands upon the STATE, as if the people owe a compelled benifit [sic] upon the whole which does nothing but bog down growth.
Rights granted by the STATE are mere demands to teach how to be controlled absent true independence. Responsibilty [sic] comes from the individual for the benefit of the whole.
Public funds should not be inflated-wages for private interest.
The people have become surfs [sic] without knowing that they are the true power of sovereignty. When governments control, enslave and punish, you have nothing by tyranny. But when the government fears the people. You have liberty. Stop demanding like children.
Laws are being built to invoke fear to nothing but enslaved-compelled –performance against the common good without intent, nor harm-by its people knowing or violating such unjust laws.
We believe that a solution is more laws when a tragic event occurs, more law, more law, more public servants, more strain. The vise [sic] simply sqeezing [sic] the blood out of our people. Public policy from a whinning [sic] greedy people does not and cannot insist on more demands but, a “dummy-down”—ignorant youth. The more you believe society owes, the more it squeezes the very fundamental foundation of liberty. Liberty does not come from give-me give-me we owe you a right? Idiots! You already posses [sic] a natural right as a human beings not to be oppressed by governments. You yet-have-not-a-right-to dictate wants that a rights is a public compelled benifit [sic]. It is independence by choice. You see. The demands of a right from government the less rights you actually enjoy. A division of soverign [sic] states is a creation of Republic rule. Rather it is of it [sic] own freedom. It is assessed by the people, not government over the people.
Freedom and liberty is not a name for a characteristic of actions, its power derives from the people demanding government to be nepotists [sic] for a relative party rule? So I ask…..Really! Determinists and libertarians are mutually exclusive yet compel some idea of the compulsion to say, I am free, which allow degrees of freedom, which are that of the Union States? No. But, if the whole of the people create something in the ruse of freedom, does it have a creation of true liberty? So, does freedom compel us to become nothing more then [sic] free choice and retricted [sic] by our own acts, or is it entirley [sic] dependant [sic] on internal and external conditions, either physical and material; nothing more then [sic] a metaphysical thesis of the act of some hidden faith that man/women with be free or become free by choice only.
Freedom is natural. Not compelled nor, should we place demands for it to be. If so, why do we wish to restrict it by such ideas of performance rather than simply common sense and act responsible. We can’t because we are at a demise within a faction that splits the tree of liberty like a maul [sic] of anger without understanding the compulsion of those unfettered choices. A creation of diversity of government and its people to the point when the people have no idea to what ends they preach their demands to sway public opinion which actually only is the cause of confusion and political collapse. The gradulism [sic] continues towards the collapse of the most in idle-limbo for a socialist cause of material greed and demand right to which we don’t enjoy.—When-policcal [sic]- propaganda-to-socialist-rights is a guise-for-liberty, when in reality it is a fight to crush it! Man is a product of conditioning forces in his environment, social justice, welfare, progressive change of nationalists attitudes to purposely violate human rights to create havoc; build a new system from the consequeses [sic] produced by the unjust demands. We store these false truths away in our memories of what liberty once was, and with overflow we fill our books with reference to anything but, so you see, whenever such extra truth becomes practically relevant to one of our causes of emergencies, it passes from cold-strange to do its evil work to collapse that liberty.
Maine State Prison
Again. greetings fellow Bloggers.
Yes, its [sic] me again. Thaddeus. Which I truly hope did not bore you with my first blog. As I set my eye’s [sic] on the in-Justice [sic] done to me, it hasn’t stagnated my thoughts, ideas and perception on just my immediate situation. but has allowed me to see and feel past the snare I’m presently caught in.
Two weeks ago I viewed a video called—Waiting for superman–. this documentary, with profound precision, delved into the education system that I once thought was the best in the world. Little did I know the United States is doing a grave dis-service [sic] to those who might eventually govern this country. For those children who are of the lower economic class: blacks, Latinos and other people of color, are feeling and experiencing the gross neglect of this educational system. Now, as this has been going on since the eighteenth century we come to an [sic] new era where this gross neglect is now affecting whites as well. The United States, at one time was number one in education, what happened? In math and science the United States is behind China at least three years! Two years behind South Korea and Finland is number one, yep. I was thinking the samething [sic].
Tell me this, has America dumbed down its citizenry?
Here’s an idea what if, those who are in power, strengthen the weakest link of society and made them feel truly American. What if, being the richest nation in the world they did the right thing for once and educated this citizenry from a global perspective wouldn’t that help the USA globally become number one again?
Here’s a thought, China’s middle class is the three-hundred million people roughly the total population of the USA. If that is fact why can’t this country produce a three-hundred million people middle class here?
If noone [sic] is recognizing this blatant lie the elitist in this country are perpetrating than these words are for naught.
I only say, wake up people!!
By Pornchai Moontri
The time I spent in a New England state prison’s Super Max unit is not easy to write about. It changed me more than I care to acknowledge or talk about. I spent three-and-one-half years in one stretch in Super Max. Of thirteen years in that prison system, more than half of it was spent in Super Max.
The first time I was sent to Super Max was kind of scary. I was sent there because I was accused by “confidential inmate informants” of planning to make a homemade bomb to try to blow up the prison. I was nineteen years old, and had been in prison only four months when I was sent to Super Max.
When I first saw the place, it looked really tough. It had rows and rows of razor wire around its perimeter, cameras at every turn, and three check points [sic] before you even get to the entrance. As I was getting out of the prison van at
Super Max, I was met by six “SERT Team” guys in full riot gear. They told me what they expected of me: no quick movements; keep my head up and my eyes forward; no speaking at all unless I was asked a question. I was told that if I did not obey these rules perfectly upon command, as they put it, I would be dumped on my ass! They really knew how to make a guy feel welcomed.
Once inside, when I first stepped onto the pod, it was the smell that I noticed first. The smell of urine and fecal matter was so overwhelming, I thought I might get sick. I was taken to a cell, and locked in. My very first thought was that I didn’t want to touch anything. It was filthy. Then I knew that I would have to clean the place up before I could possibly live there, but I have nothing to clean with – no cleaning supplies at all. Before I could ask the corrections officer (c/o) for something to clean with, the guy in the cell next to me told me that it would be easier to just set off the fire sprinkler system to douse the cell. About ten minutes after the deluge began, the SERT Team was at my cell door to extract me from it.
I wrestled with four of them for a few minutes before they got me to the floor, and beat me like a dog. My arm was so twisted behind my back, I thought it would break. With a booted foot pressing my bare head to the concrete floor and another on my neck, my leg bent so far backward that my foot pressed against my butt, I was powerless.
Then I was placed in the black chair, chained and cuffed, and unable to move at all. After five hours in the black Chair, I was asked if I was calm now, and ready to be
taken back to my cell. I said something sarcastic and angry, and just spend longer in the chair. Unfortunately for me, that was not my last time in the black chair. I was brought back to it many times – usually for three or four hours at a stretch. I just didn’t seem to learn my lesson.
Finally, I was brought back to my cell, cleaned by the sprinkler system just as my neighbor said it would be. It got cleaned the hard way! That was my first day in Super Max.
The Super Max cell had nothing in it but a stainless steel toilet, a bunk, and a stainless steel table bolted to the wall. The window in the cell door was about twelve by sixteen inches. Any time I had to be moved or let out of the cell, I was placed in four-point restraints, hands and feet, and then stripped to be searched after every movement.
Every day there was the same monotony: breakfast at 0530 followed by forty-five minutes alone in the rec pen. That was like a big dog cage. I could take exactly eleven steps inside it and then back again. It was about five feet wide and eight feet long with chain link on all sides and above. It really was a cage. I could have a fifteen-minute shower five times a week, and one fifteen-minute telephone call per week. There was no use of a TV or radio.
Lunch was always at 11:30 and dinner at 4:30. Four times a day guards would come to count me at the same time every day. I would have to stand up or sit on the concrete bunk. I was allowed to look at three books per week. I would take any books that were big so they would last a long time. I read the Bible cover to cover twice. I read Stephen King books because they were big. ADD STORYI also read Shogun and any other large novel I could get. At O7OO every day, someone would come by with a tube of toothpaste, put a dab on my finger, and I would “brush” with that.
Super Max was so depressing and so solitary that prisoners would try to cut themselves deeply or hang themselves just to get out of there. Since this Super Max prison opened in 1992, there have been three inmate deaths there by suicide (one was a suspected homicide), and hundreds of prisoners were seriously injured. One prisoner was extracted from his cell so he could not harm himself, and then he died from the injuries he sustained while being extracted.
The longer a prisoner stayed in Super Max, the more anti-social he became. Inmates would do anything to try to break up their day and entertain themselves. Some played with their own urine and feces, and others used those as weapons, throwing them at the guards after calling their names to get their attention. Some of the more manipulative would talk other prisoners into acting up. I know today that we acted like animals because we were treated like animals.
I survived Super Max by doing as many as 1,500 push-ups a day, and venting as much of my anger, frustration, and energy as possible into physical fitness. In a way, this also worked against me. The more physically strong I became, the more I was treated like a dangerous animal. I knew that self-discipline was my only way to stay sane, so I lived a strict regimen of exercise for many years.
When I finally left Super Max for good, I had a lot of emotional problems. I was angry, depressed, often hostile, and anti-social. Then I was transferred to an adjacent state’s prison system where I had a new beginning. I found a lot of help here, and all the baggage of those long hard years left me in time. I never want to go back. I am 38 years old now, and haven’t seen freedom for almost 20 years. However, I have learned that freedom begins on the inside, not the inside of a prison but the inside of my own soul. It is there that I am free.
June 30, 2011
In The Name And Way Of Su’ganni
Greeting with my Salute to you. First I must say Thank you for publishing my work for the world to see. That deed is much appearciated [sic].
Su’ganni (Sue-gone-Knee) means the Three Elements of Conscious Man (Fire, Love, Wind). Tiuza (To-Zah) means the Founding Family. These illustrious names have deeper meaning and are from my Society thats [sic] still in construction. Conscious in this Society means: Aware of many dimensions. Me being founder of this to be society I am. the first member and only Tiuza.
Yes I have heard of Angela Davis indirectly from reading George Jacksons’, “Soledad Brother,” Black August Literature, and like-mind people in here. Yet I have not yet become thoroughly acquainted with her. Since your [sic] the second person in this past month to mention her name I find that soon I must obtain literature that will give me a profound understanding of her work. When the time is right I will also acknowledge Michele Foucault.
To begin my next set of words I must first quote Steven Biko. He said, “The most potent weapon in the arsenal of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” Sophie I can reach so deep on this subject but since time is of the essence I will give you my thoughts in a way to stay on my intended subject. Just think if 400 years ago (at least) in this country if those who were colonized, enslaved, and oppressed had a Knowledge and way of life that would have never allowed them to be Tricked, Pillaged, Forced, or any other act, into a colonized, enslaved, oppressed people. They would never have left their native lands for a long ride across the transatlantic. Never would have had Mentacide (Murder of the mind) committed against them. Self-Hatred, Dichotomy, Pain, Subservience, etc. They would not have been colonized, enslaved, or oppressed. They would have been a advanced and prosperous people to get rid of a powerful band of people that used trick-Knowledge and advanced weapons and other technology to subjugate them.
Sophie this is my concept. To arm the minds of people who are vulnerable to be colonized, enslaved, or oppressed with a Knowledge and way to life to prevent the elements trying to colonize, enslave, or oppress them to never have a chance to do so. This will eradicate any blatant or underhand tactic that “may” be out there to Keep any type of people in some sort of bondage. There is no way on a peruasive [sic] scale that a people can succeed if they just pull themselves up by the boot straps and try harder without having a special Knowledge and way of life to do so. Like if a deer was to try harder to not get Killed by a skillful hunter without a thorough Knowledge of the hunter and a way to evade or kill the hunter then no matter what, the deer as a group will always be the prey no matter how hard they try.
So you get a glimpse of this in my Manifesto-Book, “Legit Money For Survival and Staying Out of Prison”. To give a specific people a Knowledge and way for life that will cut off the elements trying to subjugate them. Prison, Drugs, Poverty, etc. will not have a chance. The most effective way to not be tricked by a trickster is to know his tricks and have a culture thats [sic] immune to any of his tricks and acts.
To conclude I am a firm believer in being thoroughly acquainted with my past histories yet not being confirmed to those past histories. Sophie when an establishment is built on injustice the most effective way to get justice in that establishment is to strategically take it. For injustice do not give justice. This is why I feel the most effective approach is to Never ask for conditions like Freedom, Justice, and Equality but always Acquiring these type of conditions that the oppressed ask for. TO be a people who can materialize a Independence that will pave the way to Greatness. To not wait on no hand to rear or feed. To utilize a Knowledge and way of life to bring Supreme Greatness.
[Paragraph omitted by Sophie for legal reasons]
I am going to close out on this letter. So in closing I thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to write to me. If you have any more advice, Thoughts, or Comments feel free to contact me. I need more information swapping with various prison advocacy groups and individuals. May you flourish and see many successes in your life. Yes advocacy is a thankless job but is one of the most illustrious and honorable jobs a person can hold. If you haven’t already, make out Press Releases explaining what your [sic] doing then send them to all receptive Newspapers, Newsletters, Magazines, etc. Nationally and Internationally. Also contact every Prison-advocacy group around the World. These are just a couple avenues to get your information out there. I have an I will promote what your [sic] doing to the people I deal with and do not deal with. May Greatness and Peace Be Upon You Until Death and Beyond. Take Care.
True & Just
P.O. Box 8000
Shirley, Ma. 01464
Please Note: When I wrote back to Su’ganni I asked him questions about his theories. This letter is a response to that. His original Manifesto can be viewed HERE
June 19, 2011
In The Name and Way of Su’ganni
Greetings with my salute to you. Myself along with many others in this place respect you and what your [sic] doing. For this I wish you a long life of prosperity.
Since time is of essence I will be brief. I am writing you due to a good brother of mines letting me know that you will be receptive to the Message and Books I wrote (and one that’s now being published by the publishing company I have a hand in running). So I’m writing to promote my Manifesto-Book, “Legit Money For Survival and Staying Out of Prison”, By Su’ganni Tiuza (me). It can be purchased at Amazon.Com and other major online retailers. I also wrote to include a Written-Short Message titled: “The Father of The New Survival Order, Speaks”, in hopes that you incorporate it in the most effective way, so many get a chance to see the Message I’m spreading. I’m confident you will put it to good use. I also give you the permission to publish it or do anything you want with it. I do not need it back.
I hope you get a chance to become acquainted with the work I’m doing. I encourage everybody that is acquainted with my work to write to me for the sole purpose of giving Advice, Comments, and Questions. I make it a point to return a letter of my own.
If you want to find out more about me or my Manifesto-Book visit my Facebook page: “LMS Sri’gammi.Tiuza2011@gmail.com” I have not legally added my rebirth name (Su’ganni Tiuza) to my birth name (Aaron Lester) yet so on the envelope I sent this letter and message is my address- at the prison I’m in. Please have a great day and night!
True & Just
Su’ganni A.U.L Tiuza
For Sophie Inchains to Publish at her discretion.
The Father Of The New Survival Order, Speaks
It is said that “Only The Strong Survive,” and I agree 100%. Yet having a profound understanding of what this saying actually means have allowed me to articulate the Methods, Formulas, and Tactics of Superior Survival to show what it is to really be a strong survivor. To really show what strong survival is due to so many people misunderstanding it’s true meaning. To really show what strong survival is due to millions upon millions of people having weak survival methods. Weak Survival methods that lead to Prison, Hopelessness, Poverty, Years of being a Welfare Recipient, and so many other unfavorable conditions.
Many of you reading this have perhaps got the chance to read my Manifesto-Book, “Legit Money For Survival and Staying Out Of Prison,” by Su’ganni Tiuza (me). It was just released a couple months ago on all the major online retailer websites. So you who read, “Legit Money For Survival and Staying Out Of Prison,” can see that my mission is to transform those with Weak Survival Methods into a Strong Survivor by adopting Superior Survival Methods.
This is what the New Survival Order is. It is adopting a Superior Survival Method. Especially for those who are using Weak Survival Methods as a means to set up a way of life for their selves. It is a set of glorious principles and knowledge that empowers and exalts the person that take the principles and knowledge that empowers and exalts the person that take the principles and knowledge to heart.
I myself am the living example of a person that was transformed from the Weak Survival I was living, into the Superior Survival method that gave me strength of mind and body beyond my wildest dreams. This is my way in my work I can articulate both worlds in a way that there no doubt of the truth I Speak, Write, and Live.
That even though I’m currently and temporarely [sic] in prison on charges of Felony-Murder I have done things within myself and also materially that shows and proves it’s not just air behind the words I speak. The same publishing company that is publishing my Manifesto-Book and my second book that’s coming soon is the same publishing company I have a hand in running. Also soon I will be doing consultation and helping running another publishing company that’s being launched in the next couple months.
I bring this up because in my work and in the New Survival Order I stress the importance of obtaining Legitimacy of Mind and Money. Of course not to Worship money, kill for money, betray for money, steal money, or any other weak survival method for money. No, money is only to be obtained legally for the purpose of taking care of your family, your every day [sic] needs, the enjoyment you like, and any other monetary needs.
I teach Financial Literacy because 90% of the people in prison is there for money related crime. Meaning theres [sic] a very very big problem here. The problem is that due to millions of people in the U.S. alone, not being financially literate turns them to crime-for-profit. Meaning Murdering, Drug Dealing, Conning, Robbing, Stealing, and other crimes for money. Which in turn means neighborhoods become flooded with crime. Innocent people become victims. Young naïve women get turned to hardcore prostitutes. Young naïve men get sucked into the street life. Whole communities get poisoned by drugs. All due to these Men and Women who turn to crime-for-money for not being financially literate. Financial literacy that will show them that the legit hustles are all around more profitable than the illegal hustles.
Of course it’s deeper than just financial literacy. This is why Legitimacy of mind must be taught heavily as well. Legitimacy of mind is the absolute necessity formula to be taught. Due to the filthy thoughts that filled in the minds of these men and women. All the years of illegitimate thoughts have become ingrained so deep in their minds. So our teaching are to eradicate this thinking by thoroughly cleaning the mind then filling it with a new state of mind. A legitimate mind. Both teachings of mind and money together is the perfect combination to turn the most hardcore criminal into a Respectable and Honorable person.
See, what we’re doing is giving people a glimpse of the Weak Survival and Strong Survival, then letting them choose. See, so many people only know Weak Survival so by showing them a more effective stronger way they now have options. Death or Life. Confinement [sic]or Freedom. Strength or Weakness. This is on them to choose. Yet theres [sic] no doubt when understanding how effective and profitable Legitimacy of Mind and Money is, many will choose Life, Freedom, and Strength.
A Superior Survivor conquers their environment then have it submit to their will. Nothing can hold a Superior Survivor down. They are of Wealth and Honor. Strength and Loyalty. Beauty and Wisdom. Love and Understanding. Resilience and Industriousness. Then is it a surprise that such a glorious person of these ways be the Superior Survivor. Poverty can’t touch them. Law Enforcement, The Courts, and Prison can’t touch them. Bills and other financial issues is not a problem at all.
You see conquering your environment then having it submit to your will means to master your environment in order for it to work in your favor. Rising above the commonalty (common people) movement in your environment. Not getting sucked in by the Dope Boys getting money. They have not mastered their environment, their environment mastered them. For these Dope Boys are like hyenas. Yeah they eat but when the Lion come, they eat no longer. The Lion is the Feds and other law enforcement. The Lion is Death. The Lion is Prison. The Lion is ruthless stick-up kid that will crack your head. Thus making your survival methods weak and inferior. The Lion do not have the might to contend with a Superior Survivor. Lions don’t come that strong.
The New Survival Order, Who Will Prevail? I’m telling you now, the old ways which are weak will not prevail. Now is the time to increase your strength. Not for my benefit but for your benefit. Me being the father of the New Survival Order I have already Chose the Superior Survival.
I hope that these words be taken to heart. This is not entertainment my friend. We’re striving to do something very big in years to come in regards to helping as many people as possible take on a legitimate life that will bring them way more benefits than the illegal life. The books I’m writing to shed light on what we’re doing is just the beginning.
I also hope that these words have been of some help to those who have read them. If you have any Thoughts, Questions, or Comments about this writing or my Manifesto-Book “Legit Money for Survival and Staying out of Prison,” please contact me at: Aaron Lester/W89317
P.O. Box 8000
Shirley, Ma. 01464
I will strive to get back in touch with you. I have not legally added my rebirth name (Su’ganni Tiuza) to my birth name (Aaron Lester) yet so this is why you see Aaron L. as my contact name instead of Su’ganni.
To find out more about me visit my Facebook page at:
To purchase my Manifesto-Book, “Legit Money For Survival and Staying Out Of Prison,” By: Su’ganni Tiuza, go to: Amazon.Com, Barnes & Noble, or other retailers.